Some might be wondering where this is going already before it even gets started. Well the topic is SEX, but not to be so general, I am talking about sex postpartum. Since having my son, this topic has been circling my head like crazy. You would think that with this being my second child I would be a pro at this right, WRONG! Now, I know every woman is different when it comes to this, but I know I am not alone either.
Having sex after a baby for me is nerve wrecking. This is my thought process:
- I’m waaayyyyyy to fertile to have sex
- This is my most serious thought because after having a baby and dealing with sleepless nights and my time is there time, if I am even thinking of having another child there will need to be some time in between them, and I’m not talking seconds. I know some women have children back to back and that’s cool just not cool for me.
- I’m ready, but I’m not so much ready
- Then there is this, where I’m all in to go for it and then I must be thinking too much into it because my mind changes just like that I have no idea why this even happens to me but it may have something to do with my next thought.
- I feel like a virgin all over again
- I literally think is this going to hurt, will I bleed, have I healed all the way (even though my Dr. confirmed I am fine and can go for it at any time), what if something bad happens. My mind is manipulating me to think too much into this.
The fact that this is my second child and I still feel the exact same way as I did with my first is crazy to me, but I figured out some tips to get over it.
- Make sure the kid(s) are down for the night, day or moment (get it how you can get it)
- Play some music rather you like smooth music or some rap, whatever will assist with setting the mood
- Set the mood with a massage, four play, or dirty talking whatever floats your boat and gets the river flowing
- Lube on standby is always good because you don’t quite know what direction this will take
- Bring some toys, no not kid’s toys! Some adult toys i.e. handcuffs, whips, beads, vibrators
I hope that those tips can help you, because I found them quite useful myself.